Friday, April 24, 2009

Facebook, Stat!

Although this blog is very clearly dedicated to aiding graduate students in advanced procrastination, I am aware that it is heavily humanities-focused. A recent conversation with good friend and medical student Laura revealed that the other type of doctoral students do indeed procrastinate! This is only slightly disturbing to me, since thing like blood, oxygen, and defibrillators are often needed stat, whereas colonial history papers are not.

There are other clear differences. Exhibit A, an email exchange:

Laura: ::tries to focus eyes:: I passed insanely exhausted about three exits back and if I have any more "stew" I am going to throw up.* But I have to stay awake so that I can take a 2 minute practical exam at 11:30am.

Me: I have no idea what a practical exam is. Nothing I do is practical in any way. I am going to try to pitch this to the committee though -- "Hey, Professor. Instead of comprehensive exams, I'd like to take a practical exam. Make it happen!". Heads would explode.

*Stew is a graduate student delicacy involving very strong coffee...recipe to follow in the coming weeks.

When I further pressed her for details on her procrastination techniques, she sent me this crystallized list and an order sheet, in full doctor-style, which I have taken the liberty of titling:

Med Student's Guide to Procrastination and Fun Not Involving Spleens

(1) surfing The Internet (which, as everyone knows, is for corn). ^_~

(2) talking to people on AIM. - "Yes, we said the same things yesterday - what's your point?"

(3) YouTube - "Follow the Related Videos!"

(4) volunteering - "Who me? I have three tests next week? Clearly this is no reason not to spend all of Saturday at the Free Clinic..."

(4) Talking on the phone. "It's a business call. Really. No, I have no idea where those schmoopy sounds you just heard came from!"

(5) Political action e-mailings. "They show up in my inbox. What? I'm supposed to ignore them? That would be irresponsible..."

(6) Actually reading the news, which invariably makes me mad, which leads to (1) and (2), followed by (4) and (5), and eventually to decompressing via (3) and (1) again.

Yes there are two #4s. Don't question the doctor! She is a trained professional.

Hearing this from a medical student, I can't decide if I feel better or worse that healthcare providers are watching the same YouTube videos I am. All in all, it's probably better that they watch those than "Grey's Anatomy".


  1. Very amusing!

    ..'stew' recipe, please?


  2. Stew recipe will be up in the coming days. I am experimenting with a few variations...