An Offering to Those in Rough Draft Wasteland

Given the truly shocking number of people who checked in when I posted "MIDNIGHT WRITERS' CLUB, SIGN IN!" as my Facebook status for the past TWO night, I feel like a little gift is in order. If you have the wherewithal to click an arrow a few times, you can enjoy more hilarity like this:
















Here's a bunch more and they only get more funny/disturbing. To sum it up, just don't try to send your boss stuff on your iPhone.

Washed-Out Wednesday: Get Your Chicken

I was hoping to have something profound to say about the article I posted yesterday. Unfortunately, today is Wednesday. It's a Wednesday after an all-nighter. After which I gave a lecture, graded a bajillion quizzes, and tried to do research before I realized that all I can really do today is laugh in that sort of constant creepy-chortle way.

So here's some Wednesday funny. Because there is something really funny about this, even if I'm too brain-dead to tell you what.

























And, I suppose, strangely pertinent to the title of this blog.

You Should Never Open the Door. Or Split Up.

This will scare TAs and faculty everywhere:

Holy Cheating, Batman!

Here's some instructions straight from paper comments -- read this for content, not style. I'm not particularly impressed with the author's quasi-sad explanation for his descent into this business. I'm truly shocked by pretty much everything else he has to say.

So I guess it's time to start worrying about cheating we can never detect or otherwise do anything about!

Cheap Things That Help My Life

I should note, before I begin, that I've not been asked or otherwise compensated to endorse any of these products. I just like them and want to pass along things that make my life easier.



1. Goody Simple Styles Spin Pins

I keep two of these in my purse. They are great for those days when Mother Nature decides to screw you over with humidity/rain/hail/other assorted nastiness. They will fix any hair problem in 30 seconds. All you have to do is pile your hair atop your head, screw in these pins, and it somehow magically looks good. Definitely worth the $6 I paid at CVS for them.


2. Simply Asia Noodle Bowls


Much like the Cookie Monster now says about cookies, I will say this: instant noodles are a sometimes food. But sometimes, you have 7 minutes before an afternoon meeting and crackers aren't going to cut it. But if you can get 2 tablespoons of water and access to a microwave for 2 minutes, you can enjoy this delicious, economical lunch on occasion. I keep a stack of them in my desk and I doubt 8 of these a semester is going to kill me; it also beats the heck out of paying $8 for a wrap at the food court.


3. Netflix

I've heard plenty of discussion on this, but I'm still firmly on the pro-Netflix side of things. I like getting movies mailed to me after doing minimal work to arrange it, and I also like watching shows on streaming when I'm alone in the office and need a break. It's just easy and if the place you live is anything like my area, going to a single movie costs more than a month of Netflix. And if you fall asleep from sheer exhaustion during the movie, you just start it again without being out $12!

Any other cheap life-improving items? Leave them in the comments!

Ode to Patrick, or, Why You Need Grad Student Friends

One of the complaints I hear from graduate students is that it is difficult to make good friends in the cohort. I have fortunately not experienced this. Both my MA and PhD programs were pretty much full of awesome people who were both intellectually stimulating and downright fun times. But I can imagine why this problem presents. Some programs are super-small, others are extremely competitive to the point of preventing friendships, and on occasion, some programs might just be full of awkward and/or boring people.

My advice this week is: do whatever you have to do to make grad student friends. In your department, in another department, it doesn't matter. You will need them!

Grad student friends are unique in the following ways. 1) They understand that "finals" might mean crying fits and eating an entire cake by yourself. 2) They know that graduate student work isn't 9 to 5. 3) They will check out books for you when your interlibrary loan account gets shut down.

They will also save your sorry grad student behind when catastrophe strikes.

EXAMPLE FROM REAL LIFE: Sometimes, your boiler breaks. And it is cold. And you don't have hot water or heat. And it is going to take the plumbers approximately a week to fix it. This is when you need a grad student friend to let you stay in their house for 7 days, let you eat all their spaghetti and tomato sauce, and drive you from their house to campus, all the while insisting that no, you aren't inconveniencing them and no, they can't imagine anything better than watching Family Guy with you late into the night for many, many nights in a row. (Thanks, Patrick.)

All kinds of friends are great. But only a grad student friend is going to have enough pasta to support two grown adults for over a week.